Perhaps "scattered" isn’t the correct word to describe how I am feeling. "Attenuated" might be a more accurate descriptor. My focus stretched between too many competing demands. That statement highlights the existent problem. I am reacting to demands. I am not initiating. In the midst of so much activity, so many stimuli, I have retreated into passivity. Pulling back, these few previous days, has felt good. I want much, much more of this. There are things that I want to do, to focus on, to carry out. Call it "looking for another job"—I need to reconnect with my inner joy and live it out doing what is meaningful to me.