I still haven’t gotten back to writing, however. Although I enjoy chaos in my vicinity, it’s gone far too long. I’ve cleaned and rearranged kitchen counter tops, gotten caught up on washing and drying laundry, and even gone to a piano recital given by the students of one of my clients. All these years, and it’s the first time I’ve gone. I was afraid she would retire before I ever attended one of her recitals.

Too many things to do and not enough time for not doing them.

It’s quiet out here. Samantha came outside with me, but didn’t want to remain in the gazebo, so she is out wandering the maze. The snow has compacted enough that she can stand on her hind feet and gaze over the “wall” to determine where she is in relation to the house. The pet door is open so that she can get inside again. It is so long since I have been out of doors without Al that I had to hunt for the keys to the back yard.

I am still working on the transition from full-time to part-time (retirement level) self-employment, and finding it rough going. I feel fortunate that at this point I have no jobs that need doing, thanks to having found a capable writer to take referrals from me.  A couple possible jobs if people get back to me, and an annual one that always is enjoyable—almost a vacation, it’s so much fun! Today I am feeling relaxed, rather than half guilty because I am not doing anything “constructive,” and happy rather than nervous about the work telephone’s not having rung since yesterday. I have been going through this retirement adjustment since last September.

There are things that I want to do differently—callings that I have not been able to follow because of the (admittedly welcome) interruptions of urgent work to be done. It is time to retire again from the external and focus on the internal journey. There is my photographic art, of course, but primarily there are thoughts I want to pursue. Thoughts that need coaxing to come into full view. Patience comes with the awareness that there is indeed enough time to wait, to concentrate on these things rather than run away from them. Waiting doesn’t keep me busy. Busy with activities or courting distractions is not something that I have to be.

I think I mentioned that I handed off the majority of my résumé business to a local writer (who is about half my age). Looking back, it’s hard to remember those first years, more than 28 years ago. Feels like I have been working freelance for most of my life. I have enjoyed it very much, communicating and working with people around the world on their job search work, academic papers, and fiction and nonfiction manuscripts. And, when it comes to decision making, there are a few special customers whose work am not giving up. Not while I can still do good work for them.

With all of this free time, I am not yet operating in a retirement mode. I go through the days feeling uneasy about not working. And while I have longed for a silent telephone, the fact that only two business calls have come in on that line since the sixth of the month unnerves me.

Ah! More later! My husband is home following the amateur radio club meeting, and it was election night. Pretty sure not all are happy with the results…even though it was a long process even getting enough people to volunteer to run opposed.

Snow arrived with the afternoon, Thanksgiving Day. By the time we started out to the family dinner in the next town, the roads were slippery enough that the car occasionally slid sideways. By the time we left to return home—after dark, of course—there were more than two inches of snow on the ground, and the visibility on the roads was abbreviated.

I am glad that the brother who’s still living in our hometown was able, along with his oldest, to visit our parents. Mother and I check in and exchange notes almost every day, but it’s not the same as face-to-face visits. We would not have made it back to town, if we’d ventured out that far.

I’m glad too that the holiday is over and done with. As much enjoyment as I found in the day’s activities, I’ve still arrived at the end of the day with all energy spent.

All in all, I have so very much that I am grateful for. Life is good, and I offer up prayers of thanksgiving.